Dear Mr. _________________, This letter is being sent to you, for we know that you are critically interested in your front yard. This is a FERTILIZER CLUB and it will not cost a cent to you. Upon receipt of this letter, go to the first address (#1) on the list and shit on the lawn. You will not be the only one there, so don't be embarrassed. Then delete the first name and address, move the others up one, and add your name to the bottom of the list. Then make five (5) copies of this letter and send them to five of your friends who appreciate a good lawn. Your reward will come next summer when you will have the greatest lawn in your neighborhood. #1 Mrs. Harry Butt #2 Mr. Smelly B. Hind 236 Corn Cob Alley 2 Diarrhea Way Pottstown, PA Chambersburg, PA #3 Mrs. Lucy Bowels #4 Mr. O. Howie Farts 29 Bed Pan Court 272 Fertilizer Parkway Pottsville, PA Bath, PA #5 Mrs. Orval Crap #6 Mr. Z. Bigger Movement 1422 Enema Drive U-2 Rectum Road Potts Grove, PA Pottsboro, TX #7 Mrs. Chas. Syringe #8 Mr. Took A. Leak 2 Suppositor Lane 742 Running Loose Lane Whistle Britches, PA Potterville, MI If you are constipated, please pass this along to your neighbor. DO NOT BREAK THIS CHAIN! One man didn't give a shit and lost his entire lawn. Don't let this happen to you. This letter is sent by a friend who DOES GIVE A SHIT!