Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?
Author Unknown

It has been said that the chicken crossed the road to get
to the other side.  Although this idea seems logical and,
certainly has merit, a recent study shows that this was not
the reason at all.  Read what some of the world's foremost
authorities had to say on the subject.
-- Dave Neighbors

Moses:  And God came down from the heavens, and he said unto the Chicken,
 "Thou shalt cross the road." The Chicken crossed the road and there
 was much rejoicing.

Fox Mulder:  You saw it cross the road with your own eyes.  How many more
 chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?

Richard M. Nixon:  The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the
 chicken did not cross the road.

Jerry Seinfeld:  Why does anyone cross a road?  I mean, why doesn't anyone
 ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all
 over the place anyway?"

Sigmond Freud:  The fact that you are at all concerned about the chicken
 crossing the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

Bill Gates:  I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000 which, not
 only crosses roads; it also will lays eggs, files your important documents,
 and balances your checkbook.  Unfortunately, when it divides 3 by 2 it gets
 1.4999999999.

Oliver Stone:  The question is not "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
 but rather "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked
 in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"

Charles Darwin:  Chickens, over great periods of time, have evolved in such
 a way that they are now genetically dispositioned to cross roads.

Louis Farrakhan:  The road, you will see, represents the black man.  The
 chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep in
 him down.

Martin Luther King, Jr.:  I envision a world where all chickens will be
 free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

Grandpa:  In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
 Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was good
 enough for us.

Machiavelli:  The point is that the chicken crossed the road.  Who cares
 why?  The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

Albert Einstein:  Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved
 beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

Buddha:  Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.

Ralph Waldo Emerson:  The chicken did not cross the road -- it transcended
 it.

Ernest Hemingway:  To die in the rain.

Colonel Harlan Sanders: I missed one?!!!