Unix machines exhibit signs of intelligence:

% cat "food in tin can"
cat: cannot open tin can

%"jimmy hoffa"
jimmy hoffa: not found

% [Where is Jimmy Hoffa?
Missing ].                                                                      

% rm meese-ethics
rm: meese-ethics nonexistent

% ar tu God
ar: God does not exist

% ar u God
Creating God

% "How would you rate Quayle's incompetence?
Unmatched ".

% ^How did the sex change^ operation go?
Modifier failed.

% If I had a ( for every $ the Congress spent, what would I have?
Too many ('s.

% make love
Make: Don't know how to make love. Stop.

% sleep with me
bad character

% make sense
Make:  Don't know how to make sense.  Stop.

% got a light?
No match.

% man: why did you get a divorce?
man:: Too many arguments.

% ^What is saccharine?
Bad substitute.

% %blow
%blow: No such job.

% \(-
(-: Command not found.

$ PATH=pretending! /usr/ucb/which sense
no sense in pretending!

$ drink <bottle; opener
bottle: cannot open
opener: not found

$ mkdir matter; cat >matter
matter: cannot create

% open the pod bay doors, Hal.
open: command not found.

% *flame*
*flame*: No match.

%swapon wife
wife: Not owner

% mount wife
Must be root to mount wife

% shutdown my wife
Not super-user

% which wife
no wife in /mnt/horak

% find my wife
find: bad option < wife >

% ls wife
wife not found

% rm wife
rm: wife nonexistent