Things You Should NEVER Say When Stopped by the Police! I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in. Aren't you the guy from the Village People? Hey, you must've been doing about 125 to keep up with me! Good job! I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a cop. I was going to become a cop, but decided to finish high school. I bet it feels good standing up and walking off those donuts, huh? You're not going to check my trunk, are you? Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence. Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on COPS? Wow, you look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend's night stand! So, uh, are you on the take, or what? Gee, Officer! That's terrific! The last officer only gave me a warning, too! Do I know why you pulled me over? Why, don't you? What do you mean, "Have I been drinking?" You're the trained expert! Well, I couldn't have been doin' 80MPH, I ain't been out an hour. Well, when I reached to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and became wedged between the gas pedal and the brake pedal, forcing me to speed