How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?

1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got
our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid
burned out bulb?

2. Border Collie: Just one.  And then I'll replace any wiring that's
not up to code.

3. Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp! 

4. Rottweiler: Make me. 

5. Boxer: Who cares?  I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.

6. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!!  Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! 
Can I?  Can I?  Huh?  Huh?  Huh?  Can I?  Pleeeeeeeeeze, please,
please, please!

7. German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people
from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just
one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take
advantage of the situation.

8. Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off
the walls and furniture.

9. Old English Sheep Dog:  Light bulb?  I'm sorry, but I don't see a
light bulb!

10. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it?  I can still pee on the carpet in the
dark.

11. Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.  Or "We don't need no stinking light
bulb." 

12. Greyhound: It isn't moving.  Who cares? 

13. Australian Cattledog: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a
little circle...

14. Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it.
 By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

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How many cats does it take to change a light bulb? 

The Cat's Answer:

Cats do not change light bulbs.  People change light bulbs.  So, the
real question is:

"How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and
a massage?"
 

All of which proves, once again, that while dogs have masters, cats have
staff!