You Might be a Fundamentalist if ...

-  When the pastor says he has "studied the text in the original
   language" you think he means the King James Version.

-  You think the reason premarital sex is wrong is because it might lead
   to dancing.

-  You think the hymn "Just As I Am" naturally has 35 verses and takes 21
   minutes to sing.

-  When meeting a Marine fresh out of boot camp your first thought
   is "Nice Haircut!"

-  Someone asks what you think about Contemporary Christian Music and
   your first thought is of George Beverly Shea.

-  During the winter months the Pastor asks you to prepare for a
   baptismal service and you get an ax to chop a hole in the ice and
   wood for a bonfire.

-  If you think Aunt Maude and Uncle Clem are "unequally yoked" because
   she's a Baptist and he's Nazarene.




You might go to a fundamentalist church if...

-  The Trustees vote to remove the ceiling fans because too many ladies 
   have gotten their Bee-hive hairdos caught in the blades. 

-  Your Sunday service includes time to put the snakes away.