Things I've Learned in Florida in the Last Month
  by: Bob Coppersmith <rcopper1@tampabay.rr.com>


1. Coffee and frozen pizzas can be made on a BBQ grill.

2. No matter how many times you flick the switch, lights don't work without 
   electricity.

3. Kids can survive 4 plus days without a video game controller in their
   hands.

4. Cats are really irritating without power.

5. He who has the biggest generator wins.

6. Women can actually survive without doing their hair - you just wish
   they weren't around you.

7. A new method of non-lethal torture - showers without hot water.  This 
   is for the lucky ones on city water. If you have a well and no
   generator, it's time to bathe in the pool!

8. TV is an addiction and the withdrawal symptoms are painful.

9. A 7 LB bag of ice will chill 6-12 oz Budweiser's to a drinkable 
   temperature in 11 minutes, and still keep a 14-pound turkey frozen
   for 8 more hours.

10. There are a lot of trees around here.

11. Flood plan drawings on some mortgage documents were seriously wrong.

12. Contrary to most Florida natives' beliefs, the speed limit on roads 
    without traffic lights does not increase.

13. Aluminum siding, while aesthetically pleasing, is definitely not 
    required to keep your house standing, and during wind surges becomes 
    flying weapons.

14. Just because you're over 21 doesn't mean you can stay out as late as 
    you want. At least that's what the cops told me during a curfew stop.

15. Crickets can increase their volume to overcome the sound of 14
    generators.

16. People will get into a line that has already formed without having any
    idea what the line is for.

17. When required, most any vehicle will float - doesn't steer well, but 
    floats just the same.

18. Hurricanes do keep the mailman from his appointed rounds.

19. Telemarketers function no matter what the weather is doing.

20. Cell phones sometimes work when land lines are down, but only as
    long as the battery remains charged.

21. Twenty-seven of your neighbors are fed from a different transformer 
    than you, and they are quick to point that out!

22. Laundry hampers were not made to contain such a volume.

23. If I had a store that sold only ice, chainsaws, gas, and 
    generators...I'd be rich.

24. The price of a bag of ice rises 200% after a hurricane.

25. Your water front property can quickly become someone else's fishing hole