----------------------------- THE MOOSE SONG --------------------------------

                When I was a young girl I used to like boys,
                   I fondled their tights and played with their toys,
                But me boyfriend ran off with a salesman named Bruce,
                   You'd never get treatment like that from a Moose!

                Chorus:
                   So it's Moose, Moose, I like a Moose,
                   I've never had anything quite like a Moose,
                   I've had many lovers, my life has been loose,
                   But I've never had anything quite like a Moose!

                Now when I'm in need of a very good lay,
                   I go to me closet and gets me some hay,
                I opens me window and spreads it around,
                   'Cause Moose always comes when there's hay on the ground!

                Chorus

                Now I've made it with all kinds of beasties with hair,
                   I'd make it with snakes if their fangs were not there,
                I've made it with walrus, two ducks and a goose,
                   But I've never had anything quite like a Moose!

                Chorus

                Now gorillas are fine for a Saturday night,
                   And lions and tigers, they puts up a fight,
                But it just ain't the same when you slams your caboose
                   As the feeling you gets when you humps with a Moose!

                Chorus

                (slowly)
                Now that I'm old and advanced in me years,
                   I'll look back on me life, and I'll shed me no tears,
                As I sit in me chair with me glass of Mateuse,
                   And play hide the salami with Marvin the Moose!

                Chorus