Why Did The Computer Chicken Cross The Road?

Assembler Chicken:  First it builds the road ...

C Chicken:  It crosses the road without looking both ways.

C++ Chicken: The chicken wouldn't have to cross the road, you'd simply
refer to him on the other side.

COBOL Chicken: 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING.
 IF NO-MORE-VEHICLES
 THEN PERFORM 0010-CROSS-THE-ROAD
 VARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1 UNTIL
 ON-THE-OTHER-SIDE
 ELSE
 GO TO 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSINGc

Cray Chicken: Crosses faster than any other chicken, but if you don't
dip it in liquid nitrogen first, it arrives on the other side fully
cooked.

Delphi Chicken: The chicken is dragged across the road and dropped on
the other side.

PowerMAC G3 Chicken: It crosses twice as fast as any Pentium II chicken

Gopher Chicken: Tried to run, but got flattened by the Web chicken.

Intel Pentium Chicken: The chicken crossed 4.9999978 times.

Intel Pentium II Chicken: The chicken crossed 5 times.

Iomega Chicken: The chicken should have backed up before crossing.

Java Chicken: If your road needs to be crossed by a chicken, the server
will download one to the other side. (Of course, those are chicklets.)

Lotus Chicken: Don't you *dare* try to cross the road the same way we
do!

Microsoft Chicken (TM): It's already on both sides of the road. And it
just bought the road.

Newton Chicken: Can't cluck, can't fly, and can't lay eggs, but you can
carry it across the road in your pocket!

NT Chicken: Your Chicken has performed an Illegal Instruction.

OOP Chicken: It doesn't need to cross the road, it just sends a message.

OS/2 Chicken: It crossed the road in style years ago, but it was so
quiet that nobody noticed.

MacOS 8.1 HFS+ Chicken: It had much more free space to cross.

Quantum Logic Chicken: The chicken is distributed probabalistically on
all sides of the road until you observe it on the side of your choice.

VB Chicken: USHighways!<TheRoad.cross> (aChicken)

Web Chicken: Jumps out onto the road, turns right, and just keeps on
running.

Windows 95 Chicken: You see different colored feathers while it crosses,
but cook it and it still tastes like ... chicken.

Windows 98 Chicken: It should have expected to cause a crash while
crossing.