In response to the seminar offerings by the female staff, the male staff has created a set of courses for females of all marital status. The following courses will be offered: General Education: GE101: Why the Toilet Seat Has Hinges GE102: Checkbook Balancing (formerly "Remedial Third Grade Arithmetic") GE103: How to Drive a Nail Without Breaking One GE104: How to Parallel Park GE105: Why Going to the Bathroom is Not a Group Activity GE106: Road Maps and Other Crutches for Spineless Wimps GE107: Why a Bad Sports Telecast is Better Than a Good Soap Opera Home Economics: HE101a: Over-Laundering - Why Clothing Wears Out Prematurely HE101b: Over-Vacuuming - Why Carpets Wear Out Prematurely HE101c: Over-Dusting - Why Furniture Wears Out Prematurely HE101d: Over-Washing - Why Dishes Wear Out Prematurely HE102: How to Avoid Spending Money You Don't Have (formerly "How to Cut Credit Cards in Half") HE103: Overcoming "The Imelda Syndrome" (formerly called "How Many Feet Do You Have, Anyway?") Interpersonal Relationships: IR101: How to Say "No" With Kindness and Appreciation IR102: Why Men Enjoy Grocery Shopping About As Much As Women Enjoy Watching Roller Derby IR103: Submission - a Biblical Perspective (prereq: SE101a or b) IR104: Marriage - The Number One Cause of Divorce IR105: Preposterous Mood Swings (PMS) (formerly "Keeping Your Personal Problems from Ruining Everyone Else's Life Too") IR106: Understanding Men's Revulsion to Tampon Commercials (formerly called "We Know What That Little 'Plastic Applicator' is REALLY For!") Sex Education: SE101a: How to Say "Yes" SE101b: How to Say "No" But Mean "Yes" SE102: Sex - It's Not Just for Breakfast Anymore SE103: Who Belongs on Top and Why SE104: Lingerie - The Gift that Keeps On Giving SE105: Sexual Alternatives for "That Time of the Month" (formerly titled "Any Old Port in a Storm") SE106: Foreplay (not a required course, for extra credit only) -- John Hunley (john@storcon.com) Yes, now women too can enjoy special "just for her" seminars taught by our all-male faculty. SEMINARS FOR WOMEN 1. "Are you ready to leave?" -- Definition of the word "yes" 2. Appropriate rhetorical questions (Formerly "Honey, do I look fat?") 3. Elementary Map Reading 4. Crying and law enforcement 5. Advanced Math Seminar -- Program your VCR 6. You can go shopping for less then 4 hours 7. Gaining five pounds v. the end of the world: a study in contrast 8. The Seven-Outfit Week 9. PMS -- It's YOUR Problem, Not Mine (was: It's Happened Monthly Since Puberty -- Deal With It) 10. Driving I: Getting past automatic transmission 11. Driving II: The meaning of blinking red lights 12. Driving III: Approximating a constant speed 13. Driving IV: Makeup and Driving--It's As Simple As Oil and Water 14. The Super Bowl: Not a Game--A Sacrament 15. Telephone Translations (was: "Me too" equals "I Love You") 16. How to Earn Your Own Money 17. Giftgiving Fundamentals (was: Fabric Bad, Electronics Good) 18. Putting the Seat Down By Yourself: Potential Energy is on Your Side 19. Know When to Say When: The Limits of Makeup 20. Beyond "Clean and Dirty": The Nuances of Wearable Laundry 21. We forget birthdays, you forget sports stats: LET'S LET IT DROP 22. MYOB: Proper response to other couple's public arguments 23. Yes, You Can Buy Condoms (was: WE learned to deal with the embarrassment) 24. Joys of the Remote Control: Reaping the Benefits of 50+ Channels 25. What Goes Around Comes Around--Why His Credit Card is Not a Toy 26. The Penis: His Best Friend Can Be Yours 27. His Poker Games: Deal Yourself Out 28. Committment Schmittment (was: Wedlock Schmedlock) 29. "To Honor and Obey:" Remembering the small print above "I Do" 30. Why Your Mother Is Unwelcome In The House 31. Your Mate: Selfish Bastard, or Victimized Sensitive Man-child Healing his Father Wound by Expressing the Latent Wild Man Within? JHFROME and MTABBOTT @amherst.edu