A Woman's guide to what a man is really saying =================================== "I'm hungry" = I'm hungry. "I'm sleepy" = I'm sleepy. "I'm tired" = I'm tired. "I've gotta pee" = Get out of the way. "I've gotta GO" = Get out of the way and stay away until it clears. "Can I call you sometime?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you. "Do you want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you. "Can I take you out to dinner?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you. "Can I get your coat?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you. "Let me get your door." = I'd eventually like to have sex with you. "May I have this dance?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you. "Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage! "You look tense, let me give you a massage." = I want to fondle you. "What's wrong?" = I don't see why are you making such a big deal out of this. "What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now? "What's wrong?" = I guess sex tonight is out of the question. "I'm bored." = Do you want to have sex? "I love you." = Let's have sex now. "I love you too." = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now! "Good morning." = That was great sex......let's have more! "See you later." = That was great sex......let's have more! "Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = I liked it better before. "Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = $50 and it doesn't look that much different! "Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = For $50 they should have GIVEN you hair! "Let's talk." = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me. "Will you marry me?" = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys. "Will you marry me?" = I might as well get tax benefits for going through these "talks" While shopping: "Yes, that one's nice" = Why do you ask when you aren't going to listen anyway? "That one looks great on you" = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home! "I like that one better." = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home! "Uh huh" = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home! "Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz" = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home! "I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together." = I am gay. "It makes you look fat" = I'm really stupid!