As someone who rides a BMW R1150GS, I know a thing or two about ugly bikes. I’m convinced that the GS is proof German engineers do psychedelic drugs. However, it was the just the start of BMW’s bizarre and downright f’ugly motorcycles.

Thankfully, BMW has finally announced the end of the R1200C line of BMW cruisers which I think are the high water mark in BMW’s pool of aesthetic embarrassments. (Just to show this isn’t another anti-cruiser rant, I’d have to say the F650CS and the Rockster are real, real close behind…) This is a design with so many shapes, colors and eye-sores that it is hard to know where to start the criticism. That big old round tank, the two cylinders jutting out either side, short stubby exhaust pipes, semi-ape hangers and all the gleaming badness that your typical staid BMW rider brings immediately to mind. As a final insult, its has the “soulful” sound of a muffled Braun coffee bean grinder. It was even available in white, the ultimate sign of a cruiser gone wrong.

BMW, knowing something needed to be done, didn’t euthanize the ‘C but instead came out with the R1200CL in 2003. The only advantage here, is that it made 2004’s Montauk only look semi-obscene. Now, eight years too late, BMW has finally pulled the plug on the R1200C line because they haven’t been able to figure out how to get 1800cc out of an engine designed to top out at 1200cc. Whew, the pain is finally over!

Now, if they’d re-examine the F650CS and the Rockster…

[image from BMW USA website]